Opening the Floodgates

This past weekend on my softball team, we were playing for a shot at the playoffs. A loss would almost absolutely kill our chances of making it in. I started out on the bench because of an injury to my shoulder. My brother was pitching great and we had a lead going into the fifth inning. In the past, I would come in after my brother and shut it down.

Smoke on the Water was playing in my head and I was ready. In my first inning, I gave up 6 runs and promptly blew the lead. We still were only down 2 runs. The next inning I gave up none. Then in the 7th inning, the worst nightmare of my softball pitching career. Down only a couple of runs, we needed a quick inning. Instead, it was the inning that would never end. Our opponents lined balls all over the field, then the blooped balls all over the field, then they blasted balls all over the field. I tried everything. I tried going high, deep, short, I threw the knuckler, I flicked the ball fast, flicked it slow. NOTHING WORKED. After they scored about 20 runs, I was in shock.

I have never experienced anything like that. Not to that extent. Where it was just me that was getting pounded. It was no one's fault but my own. The team was not really making errors. I was just getting hit. And my stuff was not bad. It just made me think that I am not good enough anymore.

I have had some bad injuries playing sports. And I am just a rec league player. My body is beaten up and after Sunday night, I just didn't know if I should play anymore. I never had been in such a funk. I still wonder if it is just time for me to stop playing. Well, there is one more week and then I could take a long break to think about it. I want to be able to play with my kids without hurting. That is important to me. But I thrive on that competition and playing with my friends. I love sports, but maybe its time to just love sports as a spectator.