Worse Than Surgery

TMI surgery warning...


Okay so before surgery, the doctors were going to use local anaesthesia. I was lying face down on the hospital bed with my butt sticking out of the gown as the doctors were trying to find the main artery in the back of my thigh with ultrasound. I hear them asking each other, which one is the artery and which one is the nerve. They say they found it and stick the needle in the back of my leg. I feel the needle go in they say they can't find reach it with the needle they have. They try again from a different angle and they still can't reach it. They say they need a 4" needle and they only have a 3". So after sticking my leg a couple times they say they are going to have to use spinal anaesthesia.

The wheel me into the operation room and have me sit up in the bed. I lean over and they inject a 7 inch needle in my back. I lay back down face first on the bed. I feel the surgeon shaving my lower leg and then I am out.

...

I wake up about an hour later and don't remember anything that happened. I hear the doctor's talking, saying everything went well. I roll over my butt, which I cannot feel and start talking to the nurse that is watching me. I cannot be let out until I regain feeling in my butt. I can wiggle my toes but I cannot feel anything above the knees to below my chest.

After about an hour of laying there, the feeling has not come back. However, now I feel like I have to pee. During surgery I had a couple liters of IV fluid runningin my body. The nurse gives me a bottle and puts a curtain around me so I can try to relieve myself. I put the bottle under my penis and push as hard as I can. I still can't go. I can't even feel myself touching the big guy. The nurse asks me if I want to use a catheter. I say, uh, I will just wait.

Over an hour passes. I try to go again in the bottle and still the middle of my body is completely numb and doesn't respond. It hurts hurts more. My bladder is obviously distended. I can no longer take the pain. The doctor comes by and says it would be best to get catheterized now while everything is still numb. I ask my wife what she thinks and she says I should have them insert the catheter. OH MY GOD! I am going to have to do it.

I wait a little bit longer, hoping that I will be go but my distended bladder is bigger and hurts more when pushed down on it. The pain is worse than almost anything I have ever felt. The surgery wasn't anywhere near as what I was feeling at that point. I ask the nurse to insert the catheter. She pulls out the tube and I think, there is no way that big ass tube is gonna fit in the pee hole. She starts puttinng it in and its a good thing its still numb cuz I can feel something slowly being inserted deeper and deeper. Finally, the nurse says she struck gold.

I don't feel the sense of relief that you normally feel after holding a pee way too long but after several minutes i feel the pain has been ameliorated due to the catheter. Thank God.

When enough feeling had returned, it was time for me to leave. The nurse gave me several instructions and lets me know that if I still cannot pee later that night I will have to go to the emergency room. Anxiety once again builds up in my chest.

When I am finally home, I can feel all the pain in my achilles. It feels like someone has just took a staple gun and shot the back of my foot a dozen times. I take my vicodin with a cup of water. Pain killers do not help at all. For dinner all I can have is soup. Dang, I just realize I have put a lot of fluid back into my body. OH NO!!!

Finally around 10:30 I have to try to pee again. I walk to the bathroom on my crutches and try again. EUREKA! I am able to go but the initial release is filled with a burning sensation from the tube being in my urinary tract. OOOOOOOOOUCH!!! Damn, the surgery was nothing compared to all this urination drama. After a few seconds the pain goes away and I am normal again. After this whole ordeal, the only thing that made me smile was knowing that I can pee normally again.